Spiritual acts

Q: What is a sacrament?
A: A sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.

I did have to learn the catechism before my confirmation in 1970 at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Brockton, Mass. Besides the Q/A above, the only other thing I remember is making the rector uncomfortable because another part of the catechism told us to fear God- and I wanted to know why a loving Father God would want us to fear Him? Somehow, although the rector did his best, I wasn't really satisfied with the answer, whatever it was.

I loved the church as a child, into my teens, and as a young adult. I was raised in the Episcopal church, dabbled in college in evangelical Christianity, directed a Methodist choir, thought for awhile I was called to Episcopal holy orders. Was and am a member of the Episcopal Society of the Companions of the Holy Cross. Have spent time with the Unitarians, Quakers, and the United Congregational Church. I loved and still have affection for the ritual, tradition, and especially the music.
But.
My earliest "spiritual memory" is as a child, probably 7 or 8, sitting on a rock by a mountain stream at a rest stop in the Rockies. The sun was shining, the air was crisp and clear, and I knew without a doubt that there was more than met the eye and other senses. Good church girl that I was, I called it "God" and have loved that presence ever since.
But.
The years in church gave me a beautiful container to put that wonder and glory into. That container felt like enough for many years. But more and more, as I have met so many people and have had so many adventures in this life, the box has seemed far too small and shabby to fit the vastness and infinitesimal tininess of It All. All those years, decades, with "God" as my Father and Creator, kept Him separate from me. He was Out There, great and almighty, and I was Down Here, grovelling and small. And even the word "god" put limits on It All.
But now...
I really don't know anything. Of that I'm absolutely certain, and my faith in my unknowing is unshakable. But what I suspect is that there is no "Out There"- It's all Right Here, and we're all a part of It. "God in Me" really means In Me, and in everyone. And in the cat on the couch, the trees in the woods, the rocks and hills and molecules and electrons, protons and muons and quarks- everything.
"God is Love" means that Love is God and we are love and...
Oh, boy, here I go putting finite words on the infinite. Can't be done. It just Is, ok?
Do I pray? Sure I do.
So, what is a sacrament? Everything is a sacrament. Everything is an outward and visible sign. Everything is an inward and spiritual grace.
Is everything good? Hell, no! Oil in the Gulf, cancer, child abuse, sure, there are horrible nasty things going on. But the power and the glory of creation- all of us- is a force that works in a cycle of Life/Death/rebirth, and the good will of those who love, who believe in the goodness of creation, who try to do the best they can for the greater good, that is God, and that is Love, and that is good.